My laptop is slowly but surely failing. The tiniest movement shuts down my broadband connection, requiring a tedious reboot that seems to take longer every time. This could be the end.
Before I go, here is a sound piece of advice from Jo Brand that I read in Sunday's Independent:
If your partner has started to put on a lot of weight recently, get them to walk for three miles in the morning and three miles in the evening. By the end of the week the fat fucker will be 42 miles away.